Endopolis

Gents. Dudes. Men. We like to exercise and get sweaty (or in my case use the pool) at the gym. Some of us like to shower and/or shave, and change our clothes there. All that is cool.

But let’s get a few things clear, OK? Despite how much you stink the place up, the men’s locker room at your local gym is NOT your bathroom. Therefore, you really ought to submit to a few decency rules, if not follow some common courtesies. Let’s run through a few, shall we? If I ran the gym, I’d put these 10 rules up on the walls:

1. Put your used towels in the provided basket, damnit.
2. Don’t be gross: Do NOT throw your used bandages on the floor, especially in the shower.
3. Do not under any circumstances trim your finger/toe nails in the shower. Do it over a garbage can or something.
4. Hocking loogies in the shower is not allowed. At all.
5. When shaving or brushing your teeth, please don’t let the faucet run. Have you not heard we’re in a perpetual drought?
6. When shaving or brushing your teeth, for the love of all that is good and holy, please cover yourself with at least a towel.
7. Furthermore: keep your bits off the countertops. Really now. We’re f*&#ing serious.
8. Please be at least somewhat discreet. Do you two naked octogenarians really need to have a conversation in the middle of the room? Great, say Hi and move along. Get dressed, then carry on.
9. The shared counter-space is not inside your house. Therefore, use it quickly and then get your crap off of it. Hurry up.
10. When using under-arm deodorant spray, please make sure nobody is standing behind you and is affected by your Right Guard cloud.

Thank you,

The Management

Filed under: Life by Steve Enders Tagged with: decency rules • exercise • gross locker rooms • gym locker room